I’m watching “Rehab with Dr. Drew” and can’t help but understand why people would choose alcohol, drugs, pills or sex to drown out whatever drama or pain they have, and still are, experiencing. I guess it is easy to label anyone as an addict, and judge them when they abuse substances, even though almost all of us are addicted to one thing or another.
The human brain, I think, is hard-wired to be addicted. I believe addiction is so much more besides an obsessive compulsion to feel pleasure. Some of my obsessive compulsions were not to feel pleasure at all, but to feel a sense of control and safety. I remember that I was “addicted” to cleaning for the longest time. I couldn’t stand anything in my home being out of order or dirty. It would drive people crazy when they would come and visit and, luckily for me, I overcame the compulsion as I got older and had less time to worry about my books not being sorted by height.
The older I get, the less judgmental I feel. Granted, this could be due to the fact that I simply avoid or no longer engage with people who are “bad” for me; but at the same time, I simply find plenty to work on myself, which again, leaves less time to focus on others.
I know that I will always have strong opinions and strong convictions, but I feel a lesser need to share them with others. In the past, some people would misinterpret my opinions for arrogance, but the truth is that I never felt better than anyone else. It’s just that I simply never understood, and still don’t understand, why people engage and repeat behaviors that are hurtful and destructive to themselves and those around them.
As I watch shows like “Intervention,” “Rehab with Dr. Drew,” “Hoarders,” and other behaviors about the human psyche and human behaviors, I am trying to understand what leads people to act and speak the way they do. If I would be independently wealthy I would probably attempt to go to med school and study psychiatry. Meanwhile, I use whatever I can find to broaden my horizon and not only learn as much as I can, but ultimately become a better person by being less judgmental and more understanding of those who are vastly different than me by engaging in ways that simply do not make sense to me.
I am grateful that I found ways to use my “obsessions” or “compulsions” as strengths in my career and life choices. I am grateful that I keep seeking and keep staying on my path of ultimately becoming the best I can be, no matter how hard this path seems to be at times and no matter how often I get ridiculed or attacked for it.
Life is a journey and we are the driver. The great thing is that we get to choose each day of our life which way the journey is going. There is no right or wrong. In the end, it all depends on what truth or reality we choose to live by. There are six billion realities on this planet and by design, there is no way that there is only one truth, one history, one religion or one right way of being.
I am happy for being addicted to making choices that affect others in a, hopefully, inspiring and positive way. Meanwhile, I shall leave you with this song, taken from one of my yoga classes. May you all find love, peace, harmony and whatever it is you are searching for.
