“In my mind is the sound of rudderless ships, a time and a time, a time and a time and a time and a time.
So much silence has deafened our ears, so much emptiness hinders our movements, lost in the earth and lost in the air around my hollow globe…”
We think it is all so incredibly difficult. We think that life is difficult and our relationships are complicated and nothing makes sense. Everything is so confusing and we wish we would have done things differently. If we could only have clarity for just a moment, if we’d only know what to do. If we could only figure “it” out and finally reach the destination of eternal bliss and happiness. So we study different philosophies and we become introspective. We go to therapy and we learn different methods of calming the inner beast and damn it, still no happiness and bliss. Why, why does the formula not appear and why do we keep missing the boat and why does this simple thing elude us? Don’t we deserve it? Aren’t we good people, with great values; loving and caring and kind. Why?
I think the reason is that there is no formula. Nothing eludes us, we are not really missing anything and there is nothing to be found. I think it boils down to simple choices we can make every single day. If we can only get this thought out of our head that we are incomplete or doing something wrong (I am deliberately avoiding the term “buying into the illusion” as it is often used in new age and spiritual terms).
As long as there is free will people will be unpredictable. There is no way in telling what will happen. There is no way in knowing if he/she will stay with you forever, if you’ll keep your job, your friends, when people die, and what may occur. There is no telling!!! We think we need to find happiness via finding people that will bring it to us and the truth is, these people do not exist.
What does exists is our commitment to do what we do with integrity and honesty. We can set our own standards and boundaries and not waiver on them. We can do the best that we can do in being true to ourselves and do what makes us happy, regardless of what other people think or feel about it. We can choose our relationships, personal and professional, based on making the best decision with the pieces of information we had at the time. And importantly, we can forgive ourselves for making mistakes and understanding that not all our decisions will be golden and pan out the way we hoped they would.
The key to happiness is being happy with oneself! Love yourself, forgive yourself for the stupid things you’ve done, the mistakes you’ve made and focus on learning from them. Understand that sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right. It doesn’t make you stupid, it just means it didn’t sink in the first time. No big deal! Next time you’ll do it right. There always is a next time; just don’t give up!
It is completely irrelevant what happened in the past. You can’t change it. You can only change how you look at things from now on and how you learn from your journey and make the best out of every situation. You can choose to be kind to yourself and to be the best that you can be, no matter who is there or who isn’t. I think if you learn to complete yourself, then whatever/whoever else is coming in is more likely to add greatness, instead of merely filling a void. Don’t compromise, don’t sell out, don’t give up, never stop learning and be selfish.
Have at it! Live, love, laugh!
