A friend was asked the following question by a potential date:
“How do you keep the man of your choice interested in you, and only you, for the rest of his or your life?”
I am not going to include my opinions for now, because I liked what she had to say!
Here is her answer (slightly edited):
“Well, if I truly knew that answer to that question, I would have lightning in a bottle, could make Billions, with a “B” and could buy all the love I wanted. But, there’s a funny difference between bought love and earned love.
The first step is that both people have to genuinely want to find the right person. If that is not in the equation, then there will be a lot of work and effort going into a dead end street. Next, genuine chemical attraction is the ground floor for moving the relationship along its path.
Then the basic, sometimes trite stuff, like trust, honor and respect, etc. My button is fighting over money; and while it may seem silly and unapplicable to another, the fact of the matter is, it makes me feel “unsafe” to argue about money. The reality is, am I really unsafe? Is my life threatened? No. But as silly as it may seem to another, it is very serious business to me. This is the kind of stuff people don’t understand about each other, that makes them fight and eventually give up. You may have one or two buttons that I think are silly or needless, but I will totally respect them and guard them as if they are my own.
Along with guarding each others’ buttons as our own, comes putting each other as the single most important thing in the universe. Higher than friends and work, and definitely higher than family, including ones own prodgeny. Putting each other first, above all else, seems to work really, really well.
Next, the good stuff… we are basically children in adult bodies and we need to play. Tic, tac, toe is not going to keep our interests picqued in each other, therefore we need to continually come up with new, different and challenging games for each other. Flirting, dressing up, dressing down, events, weekend road trips (or any travel), changing it up with variety, and continually creating new stuff and adventures will help flame the fires. The five senses are starving and we must endeavor to pursue fulfilling them.”
