There is a common misconception amongst people. For some, keeping an open mind means “settling,” and since no one wants to settle, people have a great excuse to keep chasing the unattainable, i.e. keep setting themselves up for failure and disappointment.
But where is the fine line between having an open mind and keeping your standards? When is one settling or selling out and lowering the bar too much? While I am no expert I can definitely report what I have found to work very well for me.
The difference between settling and having an open mind is that an open mind does not question or compromise one’s core principles, values and ethics! For example, going on a date with someone who isn’t exactly your type. I have been in the position where I found myself very attracted to someone physically; until they opened their mouth and spoke! On the other hand, I have met people who might have been less attractive at first glance, but became quite stunning once I got to know them. Or how about interviewing for a job that might offer slightly less money? Sure, we generally want to improve our situation, but what if the other company might be the better fit, has much more growth opportunity and actually be the place where we might be happier in the long run?
I have found that it is super important for me to not compromise who I am for any place or person. If someone or something consistently threatens my emotional, physical and mental well-being, it is time for me to part ways; if possible, not engage to begin with.
Being open to changes, rolling with the punches and being flexible, i.e. open minded, has afforded me some of the greatest opportunities for growth in my life. Like most people, I thought that being open meant settling. Alas, nothing could have been further from the truth.
Today, I am more open than I have ever been. I consistently strive to work on that and do even better in it. However, unlike before, I no longer compromise my core values or principles and hence, do not feel guilty for knowingly settling and holding on to something or someone who really doesn’t support my consistent goal of growing as a person.
Over the years I learned that not bending at all and stubbornly holding on turned into settling; and consequently into resentment, anger and disappointment. Each time when I, well, removed my head out of my own (or anyone else’s) behind I would leap forward onto a new level of personal evolution.
It is really important to stay true to oneself. That just doesn’t mean we should shun all that or those who are different. When we keep an open mind we start judging others less and therefore get judged less in return. We also find ourselves consistently less in bad situations, with the wrong people, for the wrong reasons. Don’t compromise who you are, ever! But do try out something new or give a chance to someone you might have overlooked in the first place. You never know what is hidden underneath the shallow waters of initial perception.
