Life has gotten a bad rep. Life is hard, life is unfair and sometimes it is full of surprises – namely, the bad kind. Life is a bitch, no matter how you slice and dice it and no matter what religion you are part of. Just ask the Buddhists (life is full of suffering), or the Christians (born into this world as a sinner and going down hill from there). So, what is there to look forward to and why do I need to pass on this misery to offspring? Maybe it’s due to the fact that life really isn’t all that bad.
What I have found is that life is not really a mystery. Yes, there often seems to be no apparent rhyme or reason for who gets dealt the ass card and who dwells in paradise, but that doesn’t mean it’s so hard to figure out. To me, life is common sense and there are certain rules, behaviors and thought patterns one can follow that make life a lot easier. Because, to the contrary of what people say, we do have control over our lives. We don’t have control over others or what happens to them, but we have full control over our own actions, thoughts, behaviors and the results they bring. Which brings me to one of the largest life rules – don’t be a jerk!
Yes, we can go out and horde and acquire and never share and be selfish. We can be unkind and act like jerks by being dishonest, deceitful, mean and spiteful. We can treat others badly, we can be victims, we can be cry babies, wanna bes, fakers, ungrateful douche bags and never learn a damn thing and maybe, we end up with the upper hand; for a little while. Maybe we get the job, raise and money we chased, but we won’t find happiness. This isn’t the power of some supernatural being. It’s cause and effect. How you treat others, what you do and say is exactly what you’re attracting in return. Selfish and heartless jerks tend to be lonely people – no friends or relationships to speak of. So, if no one wants anything to do with you and you relive the same crappy reality year in and out, it’s you and your actions, not life or anyone/anything else.
So what about the horrible things that happen to people? What about cancers, disease/sickness, death, crime, abuse, etc.? There is the “no rhyme or reason” part I’ve mentioned earlier. But how you deal with any of these things is again what defines you. It’s this “christened by fire” thing. I have found that those who experienced a lot of pain due to things that were out of their hands/they didn’t cause have become better and stronger people for it. I don’t know what it is, but those who have suffered the most often tend to have the biggest hearts, compassion and joy for life. Yes, there are those who became mean, bitter and even worse people, but that was usually due to the fact that they were jerks to begin with. Those who weren’t became even better people –and yes, this is something I sometimes struggle with, too. Really, it took THAT to help me learn what it’s all about??? I think I could have learned it without this experience!
What I wish is that people would have more common sense, would do less finger pointing, more apologizing and act and speak more with integrity, honesty and decency. That would take care of a whole bunch of bad lives. I had this fight with my aunt recently. She was upset because I never comment on anything she does and never “like” anything she posts. This woman has never cared for anyone in her entire life. Everything she says and does always has and always will be about her and only her. So I told her that and all hell broke loose. Alas, she lives in a nice home, she buys stuff, lots of stuff and has no friends, no family and no one who cares. The same goes for various other people I’ve encountered in my life. They complain about being all alone, their relationships not lasting, their lack of friends or family who calls or wants anything to do with them and they do this for years and decades and consistently fail to see that their very actions and words have created their own hell.
Life is not a bitch. Sometimes, bad people get away with murder (figuratively and literally speaking) and sometimes the best people get hit with tragedy, trauma and horror. But the very quality of the majority of our life and the people in it are a direct reflection of the people we are being in this world. Strong friendships, true love, a helping hand, compassion, fun, laughter, happiness and joy are all results of our character and the people we are. If we are not happy with the content, we must change our own actions and words, before we start unleashing on others. And if we are “good” people and still attract douche bags all the time, then we still must look within and find out why we feel we don’t deserve better and healthier and keep seeking out broken people who support our image of being non-deservant and not good enough.
Life always ends in death, but how we live until then is up to us. And if we want the journey to be as pleasant as possible we can do our part to make that happen. Our life and the people in it – one large reflection of who we are. So, be good, be loyal, be compassionate, honest, strong, kind and caring. Have integrity and dignity and trust that the ride will be less bumpy and more rewarding.
