Yep, this is me. Thank god I have no kids. I come home, I take care of the 2 cats and the 2 dogs and then I do…nothing.
Today, I had another awesome day in corporate America. I think management never gets old, because every time I think I’ve heard or seen it all, another “great” thing happens and I am left all the wiser…and smarter…maybe more amazed at the human race. And then I wonder “was I ever this (<—insert smart, crazy, delusional, bizarre, or whatever descriptive term may come to mind)? Granted, I am no different than most people. I have highly selective memory that isn’t that great to begin with. I forget things a lot and being human, my mind inserts whatever great thing it wants to. That’s the beauty of the the brain. Alas, I digress.
So, I leave and realize that I can’t find my pedometer. Intuit gave me a mileage counter and yes, it pays me to walk. Of course, this concept doesn’t work well if one can’t find the pedometer. I assume it ended up in the washing machine after my trip to Vegas, but I can’t be bothered to check it now. Hence, at this time this theory can neither be confirmed, nor denied. All I know is that said pedometer is missing. Ack, I logged a lot of miles in Vegas!
On my way home I ponder if I need business attire for another conference held by MasterCard. I don’t do suits. A suit is like the oxygen mask in the airplane; “only use in case of emergency.” As I wonder about this dilemma some more, I realize that I got rid of all my suits. Awesome! Problem solved. I have “businessy” clothes and that’ll have to do. Oops, I just remembered, there is another conference in Vegas coming up. This time I am going to be at the MGM. I wonder what slots they have there. I like the Wizard of Oz one; or one with mummies or other Egyptian stuff. Maybe I should attempt Blackjack again. Hm, that didn’t go too well at the Aria last week. Oh look, squirrel.
So, I get home, I plug in Knopfette (my electric car) and get the mail. As I walk upstairs I am again in deep thought about all the things I still have to do for work. I have a huge list of things to do. I need a clone. A 30 hour day would also be great. The more hours I have, the more I fill up. At least I am never bored. Sadly, I don’t have a lot of time to play Candy Crush. I wonder if I should log in and play World of Warcraft for a while. And what should I have for dinner? Should I have any dinner? I had a banana not too long ago. Shit, I missed Yoga again.
All the while, I am attempting to open my front door with the mailbox key…
“If I only had a brain…” I wonder, does MGM have a Wizard of Oz slot machine?
