It’s time again to ponder, wonder and spew some Hatorade! Nothing gets my blood boiling more than hypocrites, morons, douche canoes and other useless additions to society. And as of late, there are a lot of them in the news and on the Internet.

What kind of dumbed down, moronic society do we live in these days? I don’t even know where to start. Oh wait; let’s start with one of my favorites, the Palin family. Man, one member is dumber than the next. The sheer amount of hypocrisy and stupidity coming from just one gene pool is utterly astounding. So when I read the “gems” Bristol Palin is producing these days, I want to punch her in the head; or maybe, just stuff a sock into her mouth so she shuts up. Actually, let’s take all the right wing nuts and kick them in the butt as well!

Where does a stupid bimbo, who got knocked up as a teenager and raises a kid without a father get off when she is talking about the values of family; and a kid needing mother and father?! I mean, really? I know numerous gay couples who raise kids and all of them created a loving and stable environment for their children; which is more than can be said  about some of the heterosexual couples. Maybe the difference is that gay couples actually plan to have a child, versus simply procreating without having jack-shit to offer. Alas, I digress.

Let’s move on to another great example and proponent of family values; Mr. Toad, also known as Newt Gingrich. That ass hat sure as hell is the gift that keeps on giving. Thank god, a fair amount of society thought so too. If that douche bag had made it as presidential candidate, I would have rethought my idea of moving to Canada; or Iceland, or some other country in Europe. Sweden or Denmark sound like great ideas! Because guess what, I loved living in a socialist country. Praise not ever having to worry about getting sick, because you might lose anything you’ve ever worked for to collectors for doctor’s bills and healthcare. Praise knowing that my assets are untouchable when a bus hits me! But again, I digress.

Let’s move on from politics, because that one is just getting more stupid by the day, and move on to another great source of douche-baggery; the streets of Los Angeles!
Listen up, Muppets! Don’t expect anyone to let your lame ass in, after you sped up in the right turning lane and are now attempting to cut off the ones who are going straight, or turning left! See, the rest of us actually waited patiently for the light to turn and didn’t cut others off, and one of these days, someone is going to run straight into your fancy Porsche, Mercedes, BMW or SUV and it’s going to be your fault, because about 10 of us are going to wait for the cops to report on your douche baggish behavior and make sure that you are paying for the damages and don’t weasel your way out by claiming the other person hit you.

Secondly, a SUV IS NOT A COMPACT CAR! When you are occupying two spaces, or hang out more than half over the allotted spot, it’s a sign that you do not fit there. Not only is it incredibly rude and inconsiderate to park in a compact spot, but it also poses a hazard for others; especially if you managed to park your whale of a car in such a way that the person next to you can no longer access their vehicle at all. Maybe you should have invested in some gym classes, so you can move your lazy butt over to the regular size parking spots and walk a few feet, instead of screwing other people up.

While we are at it… It seems that quite a few people don’t seem to know the meaning of “ethical,” “courage,” “integrity,” “decency” or “honesty.” After all, these are very confusing concepts that have many shades of gray! Since these concepts are foreign, let me help shed light on them, incorporating some of my work experience, as well as my life experience.

No, you cannot spend money on the Internet and then call your bank claiming you didn’t do it; your card was lost/stolen or your card magically inserted itself at site you’ve never been to before. Even though the banks may side with you, sooner or later karma is going to come and bite you in the butt. Trust me on that one. Or, one of us in the fraud prevention world is going to come after your ass.

No, you can’t screw people over by lying, being unkind, grossly selfish, devious, two-faced, delusional, unthankful and disloyal and then claim it wasn’t your fault. Guess what, we are all the sum of our actions and consistent douche baggery breeds more of the same. It’s  that karma thing; go look it up. Because regardless if you believe in anything or not, how we treat others does come back to us. We all reap what we sow. So if you have a miserable life, year after year, it’s probably you, not them.

Lastly, just because you have the right to do something, doesn’t mean you should! It seems that in America freedom is taken for granted and has somehow turned into the right to screw others over at all cost, because hey, I have the right and I have a sense of entitlement. Society raised me to be completely unaccountable for my actions and blame everything on someone else, instead of ever looking at my own crap. I screw up time and time again, but there is always someone who is going to support me in my own BS and tell me that I was “right.” So maybe, look up the word “right.”

This society needs a good dose of honesty, because man, there are sure as hell a lot of victims out there. Somehow, being polite has bred people who are dishonest, evasive and avoid all conflict; unless it’s behind the safety of their computers, where they don’t have to actually face another, but can passively aggressively pass judgment by merely clicking “delete,” or “thumbs down.” I’ve got a whole new concept for you brave folks! If you can’t say it to a person’s face, maybe shut up altogether and go back to the hole from which you crawled out of. Or, before you run your mouth know what you are talking about and maybe run spell checker; otherwise, you just sound like a complete moron!

Hatorade spewed! Over and out!

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