We are taught to not show anger. It is frowned upon when we are “out of control,” because we are civilized people, who should be able to deal with our emotions in a constructive, non-threatening and non-confrontational manor. Naturally, this results in a whole bunch of passive aggressive BS and pinned up rage, which then unfolds in people “losing it.”
I find nothing wrong with confronting people; quite on the contrary. I am absolutely sick to death of toxic nicety, sugarcoating, beating around the bush and pretentious cowards who run their mouth behind another’s back, while never once confronting anyone. And this brings me to the fact that there are plenty of things I am angry about.
I’m not going into a long tirade now about all the things that really piss me off. But herd behavior is definitely my number one pet peeve; closely followed by the self-serving, whining, woe-is-me, never holding themselves accountable for anything downers, who simply don’t contribute a whole lot to anyone or anything. And of course, last, but not least, we have the self-entitled jerks, who really do believe that the world and everyone else owes them, because they had it hard in their life, had it really good in their life or some idiot parent taught them so. Nothing fuels my fire more than lame excuses for lame behavior and complete lack of integrity.
See, the thing is that we think so much in absolutes. Either we constantly confront, or we don’t confront at all. Either we run our mouths all the time, or never, and when we do, we can count on some Muppet who is going to tell you how negative you are. I, however, find a huge difference in being negative, down and angry all the time, and being angry about things sometimes. There is no such thing as always being happy and mellow, unless you are super enlightened.
These days I sometimes wished people would get more angry and actually do something about it. And no, I do not mean blowing someone/something up, starting a war or getting into fistfights. No, we already have plenty of idiots who are doing that. I just sometimes wished people would grow some balls and start talking, debating or standing up for what they believe to be right in a constructive way. I wished people would stop arguing about who is right and learn to see another’s point of view. And of course, I wished people would be more interested in working on themselves and becoming a better person for the rest, before they start criticizing, attacking or undermining those who are different or make them feel threatened. Imagine what the world would be like if people would actually point the finger at themselves and chose to be the example for others, versus sitting on their butts and blaming everyone else. I can tell you that this world would be awesome.
Alas, complacency, blaming, deceitfulness and cowardice are so much easier to do then lifting a finger and doing something about it. And I think that is my greatest disappointment in human beings.
So how do I get over my anger and disappointment? I realize that there are things I have no control over and things I do have control over. And no matter how hard it is, I choose to take a long hard look at myself first, before I run my mouth about others. I do the work, even though I swim upstream a lot of the times, and I lead by example. I give to others as much as I can, I share and help wherever I can and realize that sometimes one small act of kindness can make a huge difference for another, and therefore inspire that person to do the same.
I’m no Dalai Lama and I am no Zen master. I get angry, disappointed, depressed and annoyed like everyone else. I just won’t let the negative emotions be my number one mode. And when it gets too bad, I let it out by writing, working out or talking to someone I can trust. After all, the worst thing we can do is to bottle things up and to dwell in anger, blame and regret.
