Have you ever felt like your brain is a computer with 200 tabs open at the same time? Or that the world is an incredibly loud and overwhelming place, where bright lights hurt and certain noises cause such strong physical discomfort that your flight response is triggered, forcing you to remove yourself from the situation? For those of us with AuDHD – the often complex and contradictory intersection of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – this experience isn’t just common; it’s a daily battle with hypersensitivity.
At its core, the ADHD brain typically lacks sufficient amounts of two crucial neurotransmitters: dopamine and norepinephrine. These are essential for executive functions that regulate concentration, impulse control, memory, and overall well-being. When you add Autism into the mix, with its own unique sensory processing profiles, the challenges amplify. While ADHD brains might be driven by novelty and interest-based motivation, autistic brains often crave predictability and experience sensory input more intensely (hypersensitivity).
Having AuDHD makes me crave routine but I sometimes struggle intensely to maintain it, or I seek sensory stimulation but simultaneously I’m overwhelmed by it.
This internal tug-of-war can make living in a neurotypical world incredibly difficult, as our brains are literally wired differently. Sensory overload, which occurs when the brain receives more sensory input than it can process, becomes a frequent and intense experience.
Imagine:
- Bright or flickering lights (like fluorescent bulbs in an open-plan office) cause discomfort or pain.
- Sudden loud noises or constant background sounds (like overlapping conversations, air conditioning hums, or even the ticking of a clock) are not just distracting but intrusive and overwhelming.
- Crowded or chaotic environments (like shopping malls or public transport) trigger intense anxiety and can lead to withdrawal or meltdowns.
These constant bombardments can leave us exhausted, anxious, depressed, and prone to panic attacks. Our emotional responses are often amplified and immediate, with little impulse control, leading to feelings of shame and guilt after outbursts or breakdowns. It’s no wonder that a lifetime of masking to fit in and hide these internal struggles leads to severe mental health challenges.
For many with AuDHD, myself included, even medication, which is typically prescribed to increase dopamine and norepinephrine levels to improve focus and executive function, can present a unique challenge. I can report that my ADHD medication actually heightens my awareness of sensory input, making loud noises or bright lights feel even more overwhelming. This required a delicate balancing act to find the right treatment plan that truly supported my brain chemistry without exacerbating other symptoms too much.
This world, unfortunately, is not built with neurodivergent needs in mind. Our struggles are often misinterpreted as neurosis, malice, or personality disorders by others. It’s crucial to understand that our brains function differently, and this isn’t a personal failing. What we need is compassionate understanding, tailored accommodations, and the right tools—whether that’s noise-cancelling headphones, fidget tools, creating low-stimulation spaces, or appropriate medication—to navigate a world that can often feel deafeningly loud and overwhelmingly bright.
For me this translates into always carrying a spiked ball and noise cancelling earbuds with me. I take a specific set of medications: Elvanse/Lisdexamphetamine for ADHD, Bupropion/Wellbutrin, a pure dopamine anti-depressant that works specifically with the reward center in the brain (thereby helping me with impulse control), as well as Clonidin/Clonidinhydrochlorid, a medication to regulate high blood pressure, but has also been found to improve rejection sensitive dysphoria. Finding this combination of medications took months of research and basically advocating for myself and telling doctors exactly what to prescribe. In addition, Germany is still very behind when it comes to neurodiversity, diagnosis and prescriptions, which means that many drugs are either not available here, or are not available for adults. But this is where my superpower of hyper-focus really shined and allowed me to find forums and research that I was able to utilize.
You are not crazy, and there is help available. Embracing and understanding your unique sensory profile is a powerful step towards building a life that truly fits your brain.
