I really have started to almost dislike the label of “good person.” Apparently, everyone qualifies as a good person, with the exception of axe murderers, sociopaths and other, clearly disturbed people. I happen to disagree with that. You can be all kinds of things, but in order to qualify as a “good” person, you’ll have to at least hit some basic requirements; says I! Hence, I figured I am going to point out the obvious, which for some reason, doesn’t seem to be too obvious for the rest of the planet at times!

What makes you a douche is not the occasional violation, but consistent behavioral patterns. It is the sum of our actions and words that defines us, not the exception to the rule!

• You are not a good person if you don’t have a backbone! I don’t care that you haven’t murdered anyone or not cheated. If you are a coward, you’ll always end up betraying someone sooner or later, in order to save your own butt. Good people don’t sell out another out of cowardice. Good people also don’t run away as soon as someone criticizes them or tells them something they don’t want to hear!
• You are not a good person if you are making everyone miserable! Sorry, if the majority of people is avoiding you because you either make them feel bad about themselves, or miserable with your actions or words, you are not a good person. Why? Because good people are not too self-absorbed to continuously ignore cues from others to keep making it about themselves. That is because good people are observant and actually care about other people’s feelings and thoughts. Hence, they pay attention to them.
• You never listen! You are always right and you are too stubborn to take a look at yourself. Hence, in your head, you are always the one who isn’t to blame. It is never your fault and you never do anything wrong. Occasionally throwing out that “you have made mistakes” doesn’t cut it. When we own up to our crap, we do so by telling people specifically what we are owning up to, instead of allusively alluring to the fact that we might not be so perfect after all…which is another form of avoiding taking responsibility.
• You are selfish! You always come first (even though you are the only one who doesn’t see it that way!). Your opinion is always more important because you always have the best intentions. You are wrapped up in your own stories, drama and behavioral patterns and have absolutely no concern how these affect anyone else.
• You gossip and bad-mouth! There is a difference between someone who vents here and there and someone who consistently talks bad about others; especially behind their backs. If you have no guts to tell someone to their face how you feel, you have no business talking smack about them behind their backs. Good persons don’t do that; no, only tools do that! Being a gossip and smack talker only shows that you have no character and that you are a coward. 
• You are passive-aggressive! See above! Snide remarks and throwing out little comments here and there only works if you deal with idiots. Most people get when you are passive-aggressive and most people get the true gist of what you are saying. If you think you are smart enough to disguise your true intentions to the world, you are also an idiot, because tone of voice, body language and facial expressions communicate our intent by 95%! Yep, only 5% of the words you are using are actually read at face value. We get it and we don’t like it!
• You lie! Look, there is a perception out there regarding those who use “white” lies. The truth though is that most lies are told in order to save yourself and how people think and feel about you. If you are consistently sugar coating and BSing your way through life because you either don’t want to deal, or because you don’t want to face the consequences, you are a tool; not a “white-lie-telling” good person! Obviously, this includes withholding and doing things behind another’s back!
• You are abusive! It is NEVER OK to strike someone; unless you act in self-defense! It is not OK to verbally abuse, it is not OK to mentally, emotionally or physically abuse, period. It is not OK to hit below the belt line, just so you can feel victorious or in control again. People who consistently abuse others are douche canoes, no exception!
• You discriminate and/or spread lies and propaganda about those who believe differently or live a lifestyle you don’t approve of! No, good people do not wander the planet with signs that read “God hates fags!” No, they don’t burn down buildings, blow up stuff, hate on homosexuals or other religions and bust funerals. Good people don’t hate others because they are a different race. Good people treat others the way they want to be treated, which should be with respect and kindness, even if they are your polar opposites.
• You don’t hate! You may strongly dislike or disagree, but you don’t hate. Good people don’t hate, they simply say “no.” 😉

There is a part of me that truly feels like Captain Obvious here again (which is what my husband calls me). But as of late, common sense and truth seems to have left the planet. When I see mean spirited, hateful, ignorant and stupid folks selling their rhetoric as truth, or worse, coming from “a” god, I want to puke. The blatant abuse of religion to spread one’s own ridiculous values and belief systems, or misconceptions keeps getting worse.

You may sit on your butt and tell yourself each day what a great person you are and how admirable your intentions are, but it comes down to how you are actually being perceived; which brings me back to being self-aware and I talk about that one all the time…

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